Some would say that that’s a pretty pessimistic title, and I would agree with them. To be honest, I don’t even feel that bad anymore; I thought about writing this down about two hours ago and in the time that I’ve spent since, I’m not actually feeling negative anymore; but the title will stay because I am petty.
So even though I keep putting up posts about how I’m gonna try and get my shit together, it seems that somehow, I always fail in spectacular fashion, which is exactly what happened when I tried to implement that absolutely genius plan that I came up with. I realise why that was now though. The reason I couldn’t follow through was that I didn’t have enough stuff to do that I was motivated about to actually fill up my time. The moment I ran into a wall with my project, at which point literally everything in the book was flying over my head, I got demotivated and just kept distracting myself from all the other things that I could and should have been doing.
Today, for someone who loves food for as much as I do, I ate literally nothing but a muffin all day, because I just didn’t feel like eating. When I got up from a “nap” at around 2 AM, I decided to order me some food which took over an hour to get delivered so I was pretty much starving to death by the time it arrived (on the plus side though, it was pretty good).
I also got my room cleaned out completely. Now, I am not a particularly neat living person. My balcony had not been cleaned for a very long time and in one corner, there was literally an inch thick cake of pigeon shit that had built up for about 6 months. So, I decided to get the whole thing cleaned and I’ll be honest it felt really good to be able to barefoot again. In my excitement, I also ordered a DIY shoe rack for the room and another DIY shoe rack to use a bedside table. Pretty good so far. I even changed the bed sheet and the pillow cover. It was all so neat and clean up until the point where I spilled an entire mug of coffee over my bed and the floor – the floor that was just cleaned today, and the bed sheet which was my last clean bed sheet. I cleaned up the floor once again, and then did the most sensible thing I could think of – picked up all my stuff, locked the room, and went on my way to the study room to spend a couple of hours there hoping that the coffee would dry off by the time I get back and that it won’t fuck my mattress too bad. So that happened.
Also, yesterday, my phone fell out of my pocket on the street, and a car drove over it, completely shattering the screen. I can’t get it repaired because I can not put the SIM card in my tablet and my old phone is back home. So for now, I have ordered online, a tempered glass screen protector to put over the screen so I don’t get glass shards in my fingertips.
So yeah, good times.