Feelin’ Good

Finally! I am actually fucking happy. No reason that I can pin down. To be honest, that’s probably because I can’t figure out which one to pin it down on.

Where I live, the weather is pretty extreme. In the afternoon the temperature soars up to 43 degrees almost everyday, and after so many days of waiting we FINALLY got some rain. It was so sudden too. Like I said, 43 degrees in the afternoon, and then at night we have 20 km/h winds, a dust storm leading into a thunderstorm, and then that wonderful, wonderful rain. I wasted no time of course, and made myself a cup of coffee (which I have recently started enjoying without any sugar, bitter as it may be) and sipped it while the rain washed over me, standing in the balcony of my room on the seventh floor. *blissful sigh*

I also got my new fountain pen delivered today which I had ordered a week back; a gold plated Parker which I absolutely adore. Sadly the one I had earlier got stolen (at least that’s what I think) from my room while I was away on vacation. My roommate probably left the door open and went out somewhere. But it’s okay, I really, really love the new one. Totally bitchin’ as Satchel (from Steel Panther) might say.

Which brings me to the newest band that I am currently in love with, Steel Panther. If you can bear with the lyrics, it is an absolute joy to listen to. Also, man am I in love Satchel. What great guitar playing and stage presence.

I also started practicing a bit of drums today. Don’t really have anyone to teach me right now because the drummer in our band isn’t on campus, so I’m just trying to listen to some songs and figure out the beats. But trying to play the drums myself has increased the respect I had for drummers at least a millionfold. IT IS SO HARD TO MAINTAIN TEMPO AND NOT MISS THE BEAT AND NOT HIT THE BASS AND SNARE AT THE SAME TIME. HOW DO YOU GET ALL YOUR APPENDAGES TO DO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS AT THE SIMULTANEOUSLY?!

I went out to get my acoustic fixed too, but the technician at the guitar place is on vacation so I couldn’t do that. Couldn’t even get my cables fixed, so I bought a new cheap one just so I can at least resume practice with my electric. Played guitar after over a month today, and my fingers weep with pain, but it felt so good to finally vent it all out.

The research project I have been working on is going good too. Progress is slow because I don’t really have a deadline as such (and I am a PROcrastinator). The professor I’m working under is in Germany, and won’t be back till July; but I’m learning so much cool and new stuff. It’s really complicated (at least for me) though, and I may even write an entire post dedicated to talking about the problem itself, and how I’ve been working through it.

Also, I’m going back home for the weekend because there’s really nobody that supervises me here regarding my project. I could’ve just stayed at home for the entire month and worked from there but you never really get the right atmosphere at home, you know? Home is for chilling, not working, right?

Something a bit more personal, I think I finally figured out why I am the way I am now. I wasn’t always the person that keeps to himself and doesn’t talk to people. The person with crumbling social anxiety. There used to be a time when I was a fun person who had loads of friends, somebody everybody loved. I still am pretty funny (or so I like to believe), but I don’t have a lot of friends mostly because I don’t ever go up to people to start conversation and for some reason people feel kind of intimidated to hit me up too, so you know, that doesn’t really lead to the most social of beings. I had, until now, always blamed my ex for this change in personality. That she was somehow responsible for making me this way, with all the messy break up shit. But now that I think about it, that’s really not what it was. The actual reason once again calls for another post of its own, so stick around!

And yeah that’s pretty much it. I’m feelin’ good. Life may just be going uphill for once without any valleys in sight. Also I realised I never posted a picture of myself here, so here is a happy me!


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