So, if there are any people out there that actively check my blog, then this is my apology to them for not updating the blog for so long. I realise now, that I should’ve paced myself a little when I started out and should’ve scheduled publishing my posts so that I don’t run dry too fast; but well, lesson learnt.
I have been a little too busy to get any time to write but I think it would be a great help to my productivity in general if I plan things out a bit more. So, I’ll try to fix a day for publishing new posts (most probably on the weekends).
I’ve also been a little low recently about not being able to put as much time into studying as I’d like. A friend of mine tells me I worry about studying too much and that is what keeps me from doing it and while that may be true to an extent, it is also because I’m an idiot who sits down to study and then wastes an endless amount of time doing nothing but just sitting and staring at my sheets of paper. So, in order to help myself with that, I have decided that I am going to try to maintain a small log here with updates about my study goals and reaching them, hoping that that might help motivate me to achieve them. Another lesson I have learned is that I need to set realistic goals and try to be a little soft on myself, contrary to how I am now. Because when I set goals that are too ridiculous (and I do that way too often) and don’t reach them, that just makes me angry at myself. It also leads me to think that I’m a lot stupider than I think I am.
“What an idiot, can’t even complete goals that you set yourself. Look at the people around you; look how organised they (seem to be) are. You’ll not get anywhere with the amount of time you waste and how much you procrastinate.”
That, is something that my brain keeps telling me quite frequently. Having come to the conclusion that that is probably not a good thing for me, I have decided to revamp things a bit. I’m not gonna make detailed plans, because I know I can’t follow them, but I will try and set loose guides for myself and try to keep myself in bounds. Also, because I’m such a fan of external validation, if I post things here, then they’d be open to the public, and I don’t want people to think I’m stupid.
I know that that’s not exactly healthy, but I guess I found a way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage even if it comes with the risk of me actually feeding the problem I have (because a constant need for external approval isn’t exactly normal… I guess). I should probably try to work on not giving a fuck about what people think all the time; and I don’t when it comes to other things, but I cannot stand it if someone thinks I am an idiot. So, here’s to hoping that this works out.
Next post, pretty soon.